We have no new obituaries this week, as the San Francisco 49ers and Chicago Bears remain the only teams in the graveyard. Let's just get right to it.
Graveyard
Hierarchy
14) Rams (4-5)
The Rams have won two games this season while scoring nine points. Because they're the Rams.
The Adventures of Case Keenum are finally over, by the way, as No. 1-overall pick Jared Goff will start this Sunday against the Dolphins, because why not? Golf clap to ESPN for the following graphic:
13) Buccaneers (4-5)
The Bucs are the new home of former Eagles wide receiver Josh Huff, who is somehow better than Dorial Green-Beckham and Nelson Agholor, sad as that may be.
12) Panthers (3-6)
Carolina is hanging on by a fingernail after blowing a game late to the Chiefs on Sunday. They're 0-3 in the NFC South, which means that one more divisional loss pretty much means they're done. This week they have the Saints at home.
11) Saints (4-5)
Back in Week 5, the Eagles' Ryan Mathews inexplicably fumbled in a late fourth-quarter clock-killing situation, and the ball very much appeared to hit the leg of Jason Kelce, who was partially laying out of bounds. This, of course, would have been an immediate dead ball, and the Eagles would have retained possession.
The following day, NFL puppet Dean Blandino explained that there was no proof that the ball ever contacted Kelce's leg:
Except it did, on an angle that Blandino conveniently left out of his analysis:
On Sunday in the Saints' game against the Broncos, the Saints scored a TD and were about to take a one-point lead with successful PAT. Except... it was blocked and returned for a two-point reverse conversion (yes, I just made that term up). And of course, there was controversy on the play. The returner appeared to have stepped out of bounds on the return, which prompted Blandino to again defend poor officiating by saying it was inconclusive.
Except it appears pretty conclusive to me that the returner stepped out of bounds, as shown here:
NFL officiating is an absolute joke and the NFL looks worse when they defend it.
10) Vikings (5-4)
Remember when the Vikings were 5-0? Minnesotan confidence was at an all-time high:
And then: Loss, loss, loss, loss.
If the season ended today, the Vikings' first-round pick owned by the Eagles would be 19th overall. The Eagles' first-round pick owned by the Browns would be 20th.
9) Packers (4-5)
The Packers are a mess. In their third straight loss Sunday, the discount double-checkers were down 35-10 in the second quarter to the friggin Tennessee Titans. The previous week, while the final score was 31-26, they were pretty easily handled at home by the Indianapolis Colts. Over the last three games, they've allowed 111 points.
Of course, they do still have Aaron Rodgers so they'll always still have a puncher's chance, but this is a team that doesn't have all that much around him.
8) Cardinals (4-4-1)
Yes, the NFL has horrible officiating, but Bruce Arians is the biggest crybaby in sports, often complaining like a two-year old over close calls. BUT... He sure likes it when the NFL's awful officiating goes his way. The officials in the Niners-Cardinals game ruled that this was a touchdown:
Which made ol' Bruce very happy:
7) Eagles (5-4)
As we noted in our 10 awards this week, the Eagles' defense is legit. They've had some hiccups along the way, most notably against the Redskins, but when they're playing like they are capable of playing, they can hang with any team in the league, including their next opponent, Seattle.
Of course, their 1-4 road record is less than inspiring. Young Carson Wentz and the Eagles' offense is going to have to figure out how to ice games on the road.
6) Redskins (5-3-1)
In 2015, after starting 2-4, the Redskins finished strong going 7-3 down the stretch, and 4-0 in the fourth quarter of the season. "You like that!" fever swept the nation's capital, and most Redskins fans felt very confident heading into their playoff matchup at home against the Packers. And then...
(fart noise).
This Sunday, they'll have their chance for revenge against the Packers once again at home.
5) Giants (6-3)
The Giants have a negative point differential, they're 30th in the NFL with a -8 turnover differential, 24th in yardage differential, and 31st in time of possession.
How in the hell is this team 6-3?
4) Lions (5-4)
Here are the Lions' five "win probability" charts on ESPN:
That's five victories when they've had less than a 20 percent chance of winning late in games. I'm not sure if that's impressive or lucky. Maybe both.
3) Falcons (6-4)
The Falcons sitting here at No. 3 shows just how weak the NFC is.
2) Seahawks (6-2-1)
The Seahawks remind me a little of the Vikings. Great defense, can't run the ball, terrible offensive tackles, and their quarterback...
Oh no wait, they have Russell Wilson. Nevermind.
1) Cowboys (8-1)
Barf.
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