October 26, 2021
Week 7 of the NFL season is in the books, and while we could probably safely kill off the Philadelphia Eagles, we'll save that for another day. We do have one new obituary this week, the Washington Football Team.
After a season in which the Washington Football Team won one of the worst divisions in NFL history with a 7-9 record, they had a chance to at least build on that sliver of momentum, buuuut... (fart noise). Washington last won a playoff game after the 2005 season. When they don't win one again this season, it'll be 16 years. Only four NFL teams have longer droughts.
They entered this season thinking that they could be the best defense in the NFL. It went in a slightly different direction. Through the first seven games, the Football Team have allowed the most points in the NFL.
| Team | Points allowed |
| Jaguars (1-5) | 172 |
| Jets (1-5) | 175 |
| Falcons (3-3) | 176 |
| Giants (2-5) | 180 |
| Eagles (2-5) | 185 |
| Lions (0-7) | 200 |
| Chiefs (3-4) | 203 |
| Texans (1-6) | 203 |
| Dolphins (1-6) | 207 |
| Football Team (2-5) | 210 |
Offensively, Washington fans talked themselves into sucky quarterbacks for like the 30th straight season. That went... as usual.
But the real problems are off the field, as they've been for the entirety of the Dan Snyder regime. In July, the NFL gave the Football Team a $10 million slap on the wrist fine after a league investigation uncovered a toxic workplace culture. There is no written report of that investigation, and the only real substantive consequences so far have fallen on a head coach of an entirely different team, as former Raiders head coach Jon Gruden resigned in disgrace after a racist email sent to former Washington general manager Bruce Allen came to light. Unsatisfied with the NFL's lack of transparency, Congress is now launching an investigation into the NFL's investigation of the Football Team.
There’s also all this. Read the entire thread:
MEGA THREAD - Here's a timeline of my disgusting and abhorrent ownership of the #WashingtonFootball #NFL franchise. The on-field follies are well-documented and would break Twitter, so I'm leaving those out. You will NOT believe some of the shit I've done.
— Damn Snyder (@Damn_Snyder) October 25, 2021
How the NFL hasn't forced Dan Snyder to sell the team already is beyond comprehension.
13) Eagles (2-5): We could probably write off the Eagles this week as well, but (a) I'd prefer to give them their own dedicated sendoff on a week we're not also eulogizing some other team, and (b), their schedule just has so many horrendous teams left on it.
But obviously, this is a broken team right now. The young coaching staff is overmatched, the quarterback is not coming close to proving that he can be a long-term answer, players are beginning to dissent, and the architect of this mess is going survive unscathed, again.
A loss in Detroit to the winless Lions this Sunday would be a new low.
Last week: 12
12) Panthers (3-4): Sam Darnold got benched in-game on Sunday after a 16 or 25, 111-yard, 1 INT effort against the Giants. P.J. Walker replaced him, going 3 of 14 for 33 yards, so Darnold will be right back in there for Carolina next week.
A few weeks ago, the Panthers traded for corners C.J. Henderson and Stephon Gilmore after losing Jaycee Horn for the season. Why would this team think that they should be buyers?
Last week: 11
11) Seahawks (2-5): When Russell Wilson suffered a finger injury in a Week 5 loss the Rams, it led to the first missed starts of his career in Weeks 6 and 7 against the Steelers and Saints, both losses. The Seahawks have lost three straight games for the first time since 2011, a year before Seattle drafted Russell Wilson. They are on a path toward their first losing season since 2011.
Wilson has a career record of 100-48-1 during the regular season, and 9-7 in the playoffs.
In the four seasons before Seattle drafted Wilson, the Seahawks had a record of 23-41. In the two full games he has missed in 2021, they're 0-2.
My conclusion: The Seahawks shouldn't trade Russell Wilson.
Last week: 10
10) Falcons (3-3): Has anyone played an easier schedule so far than the Falcons?
| Week | Opponent | Record |
| 1 | Eagles | 2-5 |
| 2 | At Buccaneers | 6-1 |
| 3 | At Giants | 2-5 |
| 4 | Football Team | 2-5 |
| 5 | At Jets | 1-6 |
| 7 | At Dolphins | 1-6 |
| TOTAL | 14-28 (0.333) |
I would say, "At least they can handle the worst teams in the league," except they lost to Washington, and got blown out by the Eagles. It's remarkable that there are six teams that are either buried or below them in this hierarchy.
Last week: 13
9) Bears (3-4): The Bears have been involved in two of the ugliest offensive performances of the season.
Against the Browns Week 3, they had 47 total net yards, and 1 net passing yard. 1 net passing yard! Lol. They also only had 6 first downs, and Justin Fields was sacked 9 times.
Against the Buccaneers Week 7, Fields threw 3 INTs, and fumbled 3 times, losing 2, in a 38-3 beatdown.
How bad is the NFC outside of the top five teams? Chicago has a point differential of -61, sixth-worst in the NFL, worse than teams like the Jaguars and Giants, and yet, they're only a half-game out of the third wildcard spot.
Last week: 9
8) 49ers (2-4): Apparently, Tom Brady wanted to end his career with the 49ers, and would have signed with them, no fuss, no muss. The coaching staff reportedly did not think Brady would have been much of an upgrade over Jimmy Garoppolo.
How's that going?
COHN: Will you stick with Jimmy Garoppolo as your starting QB next week?
— KNBR (@KNBR) October 25, 2021
SHANAHAN: I would guess so. pic.twitter.com/DYC7B9qKPW
Kyle Shanahan is one of the most overrated people in sports.
Last week: 8
7) Vikings (3-3): The Vikings had their bye Week 7. Their next four opponents are as follows:
If they can win just one of those games, they should at least be able to keep pace with the rest of the trash behind them in this hierarchy for the third wildcard spot. Then their next four games thereafter are much easier, against the 49ers, Lions, Steelers, and Bears.
Last week: 7
6) Saints (4-2): When Jameis Winston targeted wide receivers Monday night in Seattle, he was 4 for 16 for 43 yards. When he targeted Alvin Kamara, mostly on dump downs, he was 10 for 11 for 128 yards and a TD.
On the season, the Saints' receivers as a group have 42 catches for 653 yards and 6 TDs.
| WRs | Rec | Yards | TD |
| Cooper Kupp, Rams | 56 | 809 | 9 |
| Ja'Marr Chase, Bengals | 35 | 754 | 6 |
| Davante Adams, Packers | 52 | 744 | 3 |
| All the Saints' WRs, combined | 42 | 653 | 6 |
| Deebo Samuel, 49ers | 38 | 648 | 4 |
| Tyreek Hill, Chiefs | 52 | 641 | 5 |
Last week: 6
5) Cowboys (5-1): The Cowboys had their bye this week, and even though the Eagles and WFT lost, extending their lead in the division to 3.5, it actually wasn't a great weekend for Dallas. The division doesn't even matter anymore. That's on lock. What matters more for the Cowboys at this point is playoff seeding, and the four teams ahead of them in this hierarchy — the Cardinals, Rams, Buccaneers, and Packers — all won.
Last week: 5
4) Packers (6-1): Davante Adams has at least double the number of receptions and targets — and triple the number of receiving yards — as anyone else on the Packers' roster.
It's bad for Green Bay that Adams contracted COVID ahead of the Packers' huge Thursday night matchup in Arizona this week. #Analysis.
Last week: 4
3) Buccaneers (6-1): Remember when the Eagles were good and they used to celebrate and have fun?
Row, row, row your boat 🚣
— Tampa Bay Buccaneers (@Buccaneers) October 24, 2021
📺: #CHIvsTB on CBS
🎉: @BudLight #BudLightCelly pic.twitter.com/Y0Rnl8LlJN
Ah, memories.
Last week: 3
2) Rams (6-1): The Lions stole three possessions by converting on two fake punts and recovering a surprise onsides kick against the Rams Week 7, and the Rams still won by two scores.
As you may have noted above in the Saints' section, Cooper Kupp leads the NFL with 809 receiving yards. He's on pace for 1,965 receiving yards this season. The group of Kupp, Robert Woods, Van Jefferson, and DeSean Jackson probably doesn't get discussed as much as it should among the league's best WR groups.
Last week: 2
1) Cardinals (7-0): Congratulations to Zach Ertz for getting out of Philly.
ZACH ERTZ 47-YARD TD CATCH. @ZERTZ_86 #NationalTightEndsDay #RedSea
— NFL (@NFL) October 24, 2021
📺: #HOUvsAZ on CBS
📱: NFL app pic.twitter.com/3Xx5qgQoIz
Last week: 1
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