Week 1 of the NFL season is in the books, and in my opinion, there weren't really that many surprises. I was tempted to kill off the Panthers and/or Giants after they both looked wholly inept in their season debuts, but the Panthers still play in the awful NFC South, and the Giants will be fun to make fun of for a while, so I have no interest in throwing them in the graveyard just yet.
16) Panthers (0-1): The Panthers were down 30-0 in the second quarter against the Saints Week 1 (they lost 47-10), and they may have also lost one of their only good players for the season.
Bryce Young was 13 of 30 for 161 yards, 0 TD, 2 INT, and 4 sacks.
The Panthers are officially on watch:
| Team | Record |
| 1960 Cowboys | 0-11-1 |
| 1976 Buccaneers | 0-14 |
| 1982 Colts | 0-8-1 |
| 2008 Lions | 0-16 |
| 2017 Browns | 0-16 |
| 2024 Panthers | ? |
Last week: 16
15) Giants (0-1): Saquon Barkley Week 1: 24 carries, 109 yards, 2 TDs, 2 cathes, 23 yards, 1 TD.
Giants running backs Week 1: 14 carries, 45 yards, 0 TD, 6 catches, 29 yards, 0 TD.
Remember this clip from Hard Knocks?
"So to take this a step further, if we lose Saquon, right, what's our identity going to be on offense now? Like, what's our plan? What's the next step of that, I guess is what I'm thinking. We're losing a large part of our offense, our explosiveness, our touchdowns. The quarterback, if it's Daniel, depends on the run game."
Maybe that guy should be the GM.
Also, this stat... 🤯
Also, Kayvon Thibodeaux can do snow angels next to a hurt quarterback, but can't answer a valid question after a game.
Last week: 15
14) Commanders (0-1): My rookie first-round quarterback power rankings after Week 1:
- Michael Penix, Falcons
- Drake Maye, Patriots
- Jayden Daniels, Commanders
- Caleb Williams, Bears
- J.J. McCarthy, Vikings
- Bo Nix, Broncos
Last week: 11
13) Falcons (0-1): Kirk Cousins is 36 years old and he's coming back from an Achilles tear. Here's what that looked like Week 1:
Last week: 9
12) Cardinals (0-1): The Cardinals' offense looked frisky Week 1, but...
• Cardinals defensive DVOA, 2023: 32nd
• Cardinals defensive DVOA, 2024, after one week: 32nd
Last week: 13
11) Vikings (1-0): We had the Vikings 14th in the Hierarchy to begin the season. That was too low. They proved that they are not on the same rung of hell as teams like the Giants and Panthers Week 1 when they easily cruised to a 28-6 win in NJ. We'll get a better idea about them Weeks 2 and 3 against the 49ers and Texans.
Last week: 14
10) Saints (1-0): I'll say this for the Saints. They can run it up on doormat teams. They won four games in 2023 by at least three scores:
- At Patriots, Week 5: 34-0
- Panthers, Week 14: 28-6
- Giants, Week 15: 24-6
- Falcons, Week 18: 48-17
They have one blowout in the bank already against the putrid Panthers.
I can't wait to pick against this team Week 2.
Last week: 12
9) Bears (1-0): I'm sure Bears fans are thrilled to be 1-0, but Caleb Williams wasn't super impressive (the Bears had no offensive touchdowns), and they only won because the Titans gave the game away.
I love the "Oh no" from the booth as the ball is in the air.
Last week: 10
8) Packers (0-1): Eagles-Packers Week 1 games over the years have resulted in a bunch of hurt starting quarterbacks. There was Bryce Paup ending the Eagles' extremely promising 1991 season when he hit Randall Cunningham low.
The NFL didn't bother making that an illegal hit until it happened to Tom Brady 17 years later.
Then there was 2010, when Clay Matthews knocked out Kevin Kolb, which actually did the Eagles a favor, as Michael Vick then had an outstanding season in relief.
And then in Brazil, Jordan Love suffered a knee injury that will keep him out an estimated 3-6 weeks.
They're actually pretty lucky that it is only a 3-6 week injury.
The Packers' most important player for the next 3-6 weeks is QB2 Malik Willis, who has 67 career pass attempts, and a 48.7 career passer rating. Their season could get really ugly right off the bat.
Last week: 5
7) Seahawks (1-0): Yes, they only beat the Broncos with a rookie quarterback, but the Seattle defense looked legit in this first game under Mike Macdonald.
As a reminder, the Seahawks' defense has gotten progressively worse over the last four years. Their defensive rankings, by DVOA.
• 2020: 13th
• 2021: 20th
• 2022: 22nd
• 2023: 28th
They're ranked No. 1 in defensive DVOA after Week 1.
Last week: 7
6) Buccaneers (1-0): The Buccaneers are the most competent team in the NFC South. Baker Mayfield went 24 of 30 for 289 yards, 4 TDs, 0 INTs. Who'd have thought he'd be WAY better than Deshaun Watson?
Last week: 8
5) Rams (0-1): If one set of overtime rules are good enough for the freaking Super Bowl, shouldn't they also be good enough for regular season games?
Last week: 6
4) Cowboys (1-0): The Cowboys' dominant Week 1 win over the Browns looked a little bit like their shellacking of the Giants Week 1 last season, in that Micah Parsons and the defense swarmed an inept opposing quarterback in a blowout that was over by halftime.
As a reminder, the Cowboys' starting lineup is still very good, but as always with this team, the NFL season is a marathon of sorts, and the extreme amount of depth they lost this offseason will eventually be tested.
Last week: 4
3) Eagles (1-0): There was a lot to be encouraged by in the Eagles' Week 1 win over the Packers, when we got initial answers to some questions:
- Turns out Saquon Barkley isn't washed.
- Mekhi Becton and Cam Jurgens both showed that their best is really good.
- Zach Baun might actually be a good linebacker.
- Quinyon Mitchell is the real deal.
- Kellen Moore's offense was creative, he had answers for the blitz, and he made some good play calls in high leverage situations.
There were also some pretty high-level concerns:
- Jalen Hurts' decision making.
- No pressure from the edges.
Last week: 3
2) Lions (1-0): As noted in the Hierarchy last week, the best thing the Lions have going for them is their offensive line, which dominated the Rams in overtime. They won the coin toss, and then:
- K.Raymond left end to DET 42 for 12 yards
- D.Montgomery right end to LA 37 for 21 yards
- D.Montgomery left tackle to LA 28 for 9 yards
- J.Goff pass short right to J.Gibbs pushed ob at LA 18 for 10 yards
- J.Gibbs left tackle to LA 15 for 3 yards
- D.Montgomery up the middle to LA 9 for 6 yards
- D.Montgomery up the middle to LA 1 for 8 yards
- D.Montgomery right tackle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN
The Lions certainly weren't perfect, but they put a key NFC game in the win column.
Last week: 2
1) 49ers (1-0): The 49ers' vibes were bad all offseason, with multiple big-name contract disputes, and then Christian McCaffrey being a surprise Week 1 inactive. Didn't matter, as they pretty easily took care of the Jets. McCaffrey might be out Week 2 as well, which also shouldn't matter against the Vikings.
Last week: 1
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