Grief is a natural response to the loss of a loved one, but it can sometimes lead to mental health challenges. Being able to recognize the signs can empower you to care for your emotional well-being as you navigate the grieving process.
Here’s how grief might affect you and when it could signal a deeper issue.
Grief and depression
Grief can sometimes look like depression, but they are not the same. Both can cause crying, anger, emotional distress, and changes in your eating and sleeping habits. However, there are major differences between them.
- Cause: Grief has an identifiable cause; depression does not.
- Self-esteem: Grief rarely affects someone’s self-worth, while depression often does.
- Emotional response: Grief can coexist with positive memories; depression usually does not.
- Pleasure: You can still experience moments of happiness while grieving. It’s much harder when you’re depressed.
- Duration: Feelings of grief usually lessen in time. Symptoms of depression may persist or even intensify.
If you’re struggling with grief, there are numerous organizations that can provide you with support. In some cases, grief can cause someone to develop major depressive disorder, so it’s important to consult a doctor if you’re having difficulty coping with a significant loss.
Both grief and depression can be treated with psychotherapy, and depression may also be treated with medications such as an selective serotonin uptake inhibitor (SSRI).
Prolonged grief disorder
It’s normal for feelings of grief to last for a long time. However, if it still dominates your life after a year, you may have prolonged grief disorder, also known as complicated grief.
To be diagnosed with prolonged grief disorder, you must:
• Have lost a loved one 12 or more months ago.
• Intensely long for them and/or be preoccupied by thoughts of them nearly every day
• Be significantly distressed and/or have trouble functioning at work or in social situations
• Have a bereavement reaction that is longer and more severe than would be expected given your social, cultural, and religious norms
• Have symptoms that aren’t better explained by other mental health conditions
You must also experience three of the following symptoms nearly every day:
• Identity disruption, which is feeling as though part of you died along with your loved one
• Disbelief about the death
• Avoidance of reminders that your loved one has passed
• Intense emotional pain related to the death
• Difficulty returning to your normal life after the death
• Emotional numbness
• Feelings of meaninglessness
• Intense loneliness
Prolonged grief disorder is more likely if you had a challenging childhood or have a history of mental health issues, experienced multiple losses, lacked social support, or faced major conflicts or financial struggles after the loss.
The primary treatments for prolonged grief disorder are specialized forms of psychotherapy and bereavement support groups.
Anxiety disorder
Prolonged grief disorder can increase the risk of developing anxiety disorder, and vice versa.
Anxiety disorder may cause you to:
• Worry excessively
• Feel irritable, restless, and have trouble concentrating
• Become easily fatigued and have trouble sleeping
• Experience muscle tension, specific phobias, and social anxiety
Panic attacks, identified by symptoms like shortness of breath, chest pain, and fear of dying, may also occur. If you experience one, you should let your doctor know so they can determine if psychotherapy and/or medication is needed.
Substance abuse disorders
Grief — especially prolonged grief — increases your risk of developing a substance use disorder as a way to numb the emotional pain. However, using substances to cope with a loss only delays the healing process. If you find yourself turning to drugs or alcohol to reduce the pain caused by your grief, it’s important to seek professional help.
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Post-traumatic stress disorder
Some people may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) due to the circumstances of a loved one's death. Symptoms can include aggressive or emotional outbursts, jumpiness, distrust of others, nightmares and/or flashbacks, and difficulty with sleep, eating, or physical intimacy. PTSD can dramatically affect a person's health and quality of life, and it may not improve without treatment.
Everyone deals with grief differently
Grieving is a normal process to go through after suffering a loss and there is no “right” way to do it. However, being aware of the signs that grief may be leading to more serious mental health issues can help you take action before it becomes a larger problem. Remember, seeking professional help is a strength, not a weakness!