Before you pop that cork, smooch your significant other or belt out the first few lines of Auld Lang Syne – OK, no one even pronounces that song’s title coherently when the ball drops let alone sings a few lines – it’s time to get right to 2016.
Yes, that’s correct, it’s time for our bi-decade installment of Phillies New Years Resolutions … or, since most have a lot less big league time than the last batch, our 2016 Best Wishes column.
Times have changed since our last visit. The rotation of aces and sellout streak that the Phillies took into 2011 has been replaced with the uncertainty of a youth movement. The organization is entering Year 2 of a rebuild that isn’t likely to reach the finish line before 2017’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.
But we'll still move forward with this exercise because it is only right ...
Maikel Franco: May he break bread with new teammate Jeremy Hellickson over a grouper sandwich at Frenchy’s during his first week in spring training and get back to launching baseballs out of ballparks at a rate that had him right alongside Kris Bryant in the National League Rookie of the Year race until early August … when Hellickson broke a bone in his hand with a pitch.
Aaron Nola: The NolaWatch that followed GilesWatch from the previous season – when admittedly impatient fans awaited their respective arrivals from the minor leagues – is over and will be replaced by, perhaps, CrawfordWatch. But unlike Ken Giles, Nola is still around. May Nola have the kid gloves removed in 2016, make 30 starts, and continue to look like a top-of-the-rotation pitcher for a team that needs exactly that as it moves forward in the rebuild.
Odubel Herrera: May he provide us all with more moments like these in the coming year.
Pete Mackanin: May ownership partner and cigar tycoon John Middleton provide the first-year manager with a lifetime supply of calligraphy pens before Opening Day.
Cody Asche: For 2016, Asche’s third and perhaps last chance to prove himself as a productive everyday player, may he tap into the power that saw him hit 5 home runs in his last 19 games last season. Or else, perhaps, form a capable platoon with newcomer Tyler Goeddel.
Darin Ruf: May he get an extended look as a regular first baseman for the first time since the only other time he played regularly, in the second half of 2013 when he sported an .806 OPS. Sure Ruf, who turns 30 this summer, isn’t viewed as a critical piece of the Phillies future. But more playing time (and production, of course) could help his own future elsewhere.
Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez: Wait, never mind, The International Man of Mystery is no longer here. But he is getting north of $4.6 million from the Phillies in 2016. May he graciously send a quarter of that to cover the two-month-long tab of ballwriters at Frenchy’s this spring.
Charlie Morton: A resolution for one of the newest members of the rotation — have fewer starts allowing 5 or more runs (like each of his last three games in 2015) and more when he looks like a Roy Halladay clone, even if it’s just style and not substance. Humor us.
Bob McClure: Did you know he once wrote a book? For 2016, less rotting, more double- and triple-checking that his pitchers have the phone on its hook in the bullpen.
Luis Garcia: As the new longest-tenured arm in the Phillies bullpen (yes, really), the former barber’s resolution is to take on the task of being McClure’s man in the ‘pen, diligently on top of phone duties.
Dalier Hinojosa: The Red Sox version of M.A.G. to a lesser degree (they gave him $4.5 million, he pitched in one big league game with Boston), Hinojosa’s resolution is to continue to carve out a spot in a Phillies’ pen where he quietly had a 0.78 ERA and .487 opponents OPS in 19 games.
Chase Utley: Yes, he’s not around any longer. He’ll be back at CBP with the Dodgers on Aug. 16. But we’ll include him anyway: less talk of dirty slides, more making TV personalities in suits slide into Matt Harvey dummies.
Chris Wheeler: Yes, he’s still around Citizens Bank Park, still sharing entertaining stories. Wheeler is entering his 45th year with the Phillies. Someone’s resolution should be to find him a job (‘Behind the Pinstripes,’ alongside Scott Palmer? A radio show on either 94-WIP or 97.5 The Fanatic?) where he can once again share his stories, along with his insight into a game he still studies and loves.
Elvis Araujo: This is easy (and silly). Araujo finished the 2015 season the DL with a groin strain. His resolution: return by no later than April 22, when the Phillies travel to Milwaukee. The potential matchup with Alex Presley would leave every last fan at Miller Park all shook up.
J.P. Crawford: He turns 21 this month –- the same age Jimmy Rollins was when he made his own big league debut as the Phillies future shortstop. A resolution: fewer games in the minor leagues than in the major leagues during the 2016 season.
Roman Quinn: The fleet-footed infielder-turned-center fielder is still only 22, but has failed to play in more than 88 games in any season because of various injuries. An easy resolution: stay healthy, arrive at Citizens Bank Park in September.
Citizens Bank Park Squirrel: Arrive at Citizens Bank Park for the home opener (April 11) and whenever else you’d like, too. You’re always welcome. We know squirrels just want to have fun. And we prefer the living animals to the dead.
Carlos Ruiz: Better health, more production, and a happy ending to a Phillies career when the season draws to a close. One of the most likable players to wear red pinstripes deserves a proper sendoff.
Ryan Howard: To find some joy in the game again in 2016, and perhaps in another uniform, which would be the best move for all parties involved. From coming back from a career-altering injury, to dealing with family legal woes, and now PED allegations, Howard now needs a healthy mind as much as the healthy body parts that have often betrayed him in the last half decade.