May 05, 2016
Source/New Jersey State Police
Michael Cohen, 65, of Bass River Township in Burlington County.
A New Jersey man has been charged with filing a false police report after he told authorities he was robbed at gunpoint on Monday by an imposing man with a British accent.
Earlier this week, we reported that the New Jersey State Police were looking for a suspect in the alleged robbery in Burlington County. Police were told by 65-year-old Michael Cohen, of Bass River, that he had been robbed around 11:25 a.m. Monday at the intersection of Route 9 and Ash Road.
Cohen said he was approached by two men who pulled up to a bus stop in a dark-colored SUV to ask for directions. In the middle of the discussion that followed, the passenger in the vehicle allegedly pulled out a black revolver and demanded money from Cohen, who told police he gave the suspects his wallet with $150 and various personal items.
After taking a detailed statement, police released the following composite sketch and cautioned that the suspect's British accent may or may not have been fake.
This composite sketch is of a man — who police say spoke with a British accent — wanted for an armed robber in Burlington County, New Jersey.
We’re the New Jersey State Police, so we’re going to thoroughly investigate crimes with all of the resources at our disposal. So, when we have a victim like Mr. Cohen, who seemingly had a remarkable ability to recall minor details while he was staring down the barrel of a gun, we’re going to break-out the very gifted and talented artists of our Composite Artist Unit.
And so we did, and so we got this amazing drawing. But remember folks, we also have some outstanding detectives who were able to determine that this whole story was bogus. Those lovely details will remain absent in this narrative to maintain the integrity of the investigation.
Basically, police said Cohen faltered in his description of the driver, who he simply called a "white guy" in a Hyundai Santa Fe with tinted windows. Somehow, when it came to the alleged gunman, Cohen managed to paint a portrait of man composed of Idris Elba, Mr. T, Shaquille O'Neil, and Dennis Rodman.
"The moral of the story is if you have a vivid imagination, perhaps you should do some writing," police said. "Maybe you’re the next #JKRowling. But don’t report false crimes to police. We’d rather spend our time and resources on real crimes."
Cohen was released Wednesday pending a court date.
"Yes people," police concluded, "in this one instance, we actually had something better to do!"
