NFC Hierarchy/Obituary: Week 9 edition

How do the Eagles measure up against the rest of the NFC after their third straight win?

The Saints' brass is ass.
Stephen Lew/Imagn Images

Week 8 of the NFL season is in the books, and we have one new obituary in the old, mismanaged, delusional New Orleans Saints.

Obituary: Saints (2-6)

The Saints were the toast of the NFL after the first two weeks of the season after blowing out the Panthers 47-10, and the Cowboys 44-19. Derek Carr looked like an MVP candidate, a rejuvenated Alvin Kamara had scored five touchdowns, and offensive coordinator Klint Kubiak appeared to be on a fast track to a head coaching job. Now? Not so much.

The Saints have since lost each of their last six games by a combined score of 177-94, including four straight losses by at least two scores.

The Saints are one of the worst run franchises in the NFL. Even after Drew Brees' retirement after the 2020 season, they've been kicking the can down the road with aging, declining veterans, delusional that they were still contenders, and all they have to show for it is a 27-32 (0.458) record the last three-plus years, no playoff berths in the worst division in football, the second-oldest roster in the NFC, a 33-year-old quarterback in Carr who is going to count for $50 million in dead money if they cut him next offseason, and just general cap hell otherwise (click the 2025 tab in this link). Sorry, that was a long sentence.

Will they finally take their medicine and trade off some of their decent, aging assets at the trade deadline, and commit to fixing their cap while starting over with youth next offseason like they should have years ago? History says they won't, because they're dumb.

Graveyard


Hierarchy

14) Giants (2-6): Lol: 

We could have eulogized the Giants a week ago, and we certainly can now, but I think that they're too much fun to write about each week so I'm going to keep them around a while longer.

Last week: 15

13) Cowboys (3-4): Dak Prescott is taking a whole lot of heat for the Cowboys' offensive woes. He's the highest-paid player in the NFL, and some of the criticism is fair. However, it's worth noting that he is getting no help whatsoever from the run game.

Cowboys rushing offense Stat Rank 
 Rush yards per game74.1 32 
 Rush yards per attempt3.4 32 
Rush attempts per game 21.7 31 
 Rushes of 20+ yards32 
 Longest rush of the season13 yards 32 
Rushing first downs per game 4.7 31 
Rushing TDs Tied for last 
Percentage of yards via the run 22.5% 32 


If that were happening in Philly, there'd be mobs of people with signs about running the football for miles in every direction of the NovaCare Complex.

Last week: 11

12) Rams (3-4): It's kind of remarkable how quickly fortunes can change in the NFL. The Rams were 1-4, and almost dead in the water. But... they beat the Raiders Week 6 and in Week 7 they surprisingly got Cooper Kupp and Puka Nacua back in time to play the Vikings. 

Kupp and Nacua combined for 12 catches for 157 yards and a TD, and the L.A. offense looked like it was back.

Oh, and hey, they're also lucky that the rest of the NFC West hasn't pulled away. The NFC West now looks like this:

NFC West Record Div record 
Cardinals 4-4 2-0 
49ers 4-4 1-2 
Seahawks 4-4 0-1 
 Rams3-4 1-1 


The Rams have as good a chance of winning that division as anyone.

Last week: 13

11) Cardinals (4-4): In each of their last three wins, the Cardinals' opponents were kinda cruising right along and then "OH GOD NO WHAT HAPPENED!" 


I'll say this for the Cardinals. They compete for 60 minutes. Can't say that for the Bears last Sunday, for example.

Last week: 12

10) Seahawks (4-4): Oh hey, old friend Josh Jobe picked off Josh Allen on Sunday.

That's fine and good, but that also means that Josh Jobe has some kind of role in Seattle's defense. 😬

He actually played 51 snaps against the Bills.

Last week: 10

9) Bears (4-3): I'd be curious how often teams successfully convert Hail Mary plays when the defense rushes 5 guys, but in this video it's all either 3 or 4 (mostly 3). It's probably also not a great idea to be talking shit to fans while the play is underway, like Tyrique Stevenson did on Sunday:

Also, maybe don't give the ball to the backup offensive lineman on 3rd and Goal from the 1.

The Bears got outplayed by the Commanders on Sunday, still had a chance to win, and ultimately didn't.

Last week: 6

8) Falcons (5-3): Jessie Bates is really good.

He has a couple of INTs and 3 forced fumbles this season. He's particularly impressive because it's hard to play safety at a high level when your defense gets no pass rush whatsoever.

(Side note: That video above is what it looks like when you're missing Chris Godwin and Mike Evans.)

Last week: 8

7) 49ers (4-4): The Niners are "poised" to get Christian McCaffrey back after their Week 10 bye.

The Niners' run game hasn't really suffered much with McCaffrey out. Jordan Mason is third in the NFL in rushing, and he's averaging 5.1 yards per carry. But obviously, McCaffrey can do a whole lot more in the passing game.

The Niners would be wise to allow Mason to keep a prominent role in the offense down the stretch, limit McCaffrey's touches, and then step on the gas with McCaffrey during the playoffs. Will Kyle Shanahan be able to help himself from overusing McCaffrey in regular season games, like he has since the Niners traded for him?

Last week: 9

6) Vikings (5-2): In addition to dropping their second straight game after starting 5-0, the Vikings lost one of their most indispensable players in LT Christian Darrisaw for the season.

Remember in 2016 when the Vikings' young quarterback got hurt so they turned to Sam Bradford, got surprisingly good play out of him early in the season, started 5-0, had a bye week, then lost a bunch of games and finished 8-8?

Well, 2024 is looking a whole lot like a remake of 2016 with Sam Darnold and J.J. McCarthy starring as Sam Bradford and Teddy Bridgewater.

Last week: 2

5) Eagles (5-2): The Eagles are really good at running the football. As such, opposing teams are wary of that. It should come as no surprise then that when they run play action, Jalen Hurts often has plenty of time to throw, and to wide open receivers. On Sunday against the Bengals, he was 6/7 for 142 yards and 1 TD when the Eagles ran play action against the Bengals. Here are those seven throws:

The Eagles should take advantage of their great rushing attack and run more play action. #Analysis.

Last week: 5

4) Buccaneers (4-4): The Buccaneers have lost two straight games, three of their last four, and four of their last six. They also lost Chris Godwin for the season, and Mike Evans likely for about a month. They're a game back of the Falcons in the NFC South, but really more like two games since Atlanta swept them already. Only three teams in the NFC have more losses than them, and betting markets project that they have a 44.3% chance of making the playoffs.

On the other hand, according to some of the wiser folks in our comment section here, the Bucs should be ahead of the Eagles because the Bucs beat them Week 4. Since I'm a man of the people, here you go. 🫡

I hope this satisfies last week's Hierarchy injustice.

Last week: 7

3) Commanders (6-2): It's hilarious to me that most fans just accept that holding won't be called on Hail Mary plays. Like, 71 and 63 below both got away with blatant holds right out in the open for everyone to see, and the two officials looking right at them were like, "Nah, I'm not flagging that."

But also, Jayden Daniels is a stud, and the Commanders' vibes haven't been better in like 30 years.

Last week: 4

2) Packers (6-2): Derrick Henry and Saquon Barkley were sort of the posterchilds (posterchildren?) of the "Are they washed?" questions this offseason after joining their respective new teams. But Josh Jacobs has been killing it for the Packers this year too after a bad year in Las Vegas in 2023. The NFL's rushing leaders:

Player Rush Yards YPC TD 
Derrick Henry, Ravens 145 946 6.5 
Saquon Barkley, Eagles 130 766 5.9 
Jordan Mason, 49ers 134 685 5.1 
Josh Jacobs, Packers 145 667 4.6 3 


Henry, Barkley, and Jacobs are going to give teams with good offensive lines confidence to go out and pay for aging veteran running backs.

Last week: 3


1) Lions (6-1): This is nuts: 

The Lions look like the best team in the NFL right now.

Last week: 1


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