Week 9 of the NFL season is in the books, and it was a bad week for the NFC. There were eight NFC vs. AFC matchups, and the NFC lost seven of them. Winners bolded:
• Vikings at Ravens
• Patri*ts at Panthers
• Broncos at Cowboys
• Raiders at Giants
• Chargers at Eagles
• Packers at Chiefs
• Titans at Rams
• Bears at Steelers
There are no new obituaries this week.
Graveyard
MORE: Eagles snap count analysis: Week 9 vs. Chargers | John McMullen: Justin Herbert shows the Eagles exactly what they're missing
Hierarchy
12) Eagles (3-6): Jonathan Gannon has had a rough first year as the Eagles' defensive coordinator, but he's far from the only problem, or even the biggest problem, in my opinion. We all realize that this season is unfolding in a way that Gannon can be made the scapegoat when the reality is that the roster just isn't good, right?
Last week: 11
11) Panthers (4-5): Yikes:
Last week: 10
10) Falcons (4-4): If the season ended today (it doesn't), the Falcons would be in the playoffs as the 7 seed in the NFC. Let's look at the wildcard race:
| NFC wildcard | Record | GB |
| Rams (5 seed) | 7-2 | -3 |
| Saints (6 seed) | 5-3 | -1.5 |
| Falcons (7 seed) | 4-4 | - |
| Panthers | 4-5 | 0.5 |
| Vikings | 3-5 | 1 |
| Seahawks | 3-5 | 1 |
| 49ers | 3-5 | 1 |
| Eagles | 3-6 | 1.5 |
| Giants | 3-6 | 1.5 |
| Bears | 3-6 | 1.5 |
| Football Team | 2-6 | 2 |
| Lions | 0-8 | 4 |
I'm already sort of regretting killing off teams like the Giants, Bears, and Football Team so early, because it's clear that a bad team is going to make it to the postseason this year.
It probably won't be the Falcons, whose wins have come against Daniel Jones, Zach Wilson, Tua Tagovailoa, and Trevor Siemian. Meanwhile, they've lost to Jalen Hurts, Taylor Heinicke, and Sam Darnold. The only definitively good quarterback they've faced so far this season is Tom Brady, who lit them up for 48 points.
Last week: 12
9) 49ers (3-5): RT Mike McGlinchey is done for the season with a quad injury. He'll soon join CB Jason Verrett, DE Dee Ford, DT Javon Kinlaw, LB Dre Greenlaw, S Jaquiski Tartt, and RB Raheem Mostert on IR. This team has always been highly overrated, but the injuries haven't helped.
Every game that Jimmy Garoppolo starts the rest of this season is a wasted opportunity to get Trey Lance valuable experience in a season in which they're not going anywhere.
Last week: 8
8) Vikings (3-5): The Vikings have lost a bunch of close games to good teams late in games this season:
- Week 1: The Bengals kicked a game-winning field goal with no time left in OT.
- Week 2: The Vikings missed a 37-yard field goal that would have beaten the Cardinals.
- Week 8: The Cowboys scored a go-ahead TD with 51 seconds left.
- Week 9: The Ravens kicked a game-winning field goal with 16 seconds left in OT.
Last week: 9
MORE: Week 10 NFL odds: Point spread and total for every game, including Eagles vs. Broncos | Handing out 10 awards from the Eagles-Chargers game
7) Seahawks (3-5): Russell Wilson missed three starts, and he'll be back after Seattle's Week 9 bye. Those three starts were the first games that Wilson has ever missed. He put out the following video:
Calm down, Russ. It was a finger injury.
Last week: 7
6) Saints (5-3): Taysom Hill isn't a legit NFL starting quarterback, but he's still probably better than Trevor Siemian. Go run-heavy and hope your defense can win games.
Last week: 6
5) Packers (7-2): Kareem Abdul-Jabbar provided perhaps my favorite of the Aaron Rodgers takedowns so far, which you can read here:
My favorite line:
He also claimed he was allergic to ingredients in the vaccine, but offered no proof, which may be why the NFL denied his petition for vaccine exemption. Statistically, only 21 out of two million vaccinated people had severe allergic reactions. He also expressed concern over fertility issues, even though there is a greater risk of infertility from COVID-19, which he has.
"Which he has." Lol.
Anyway, Rodgers missed a very winnable game against the Chiefs. Had he been vaccinated, maybe he never gets COVID in the first place, or maybe he's able to produce two negative tests 24 hours apart before the game, and be able to play, a scenario that is not possible for unvaxxed players in the NFL protocols.
With Rodgers, the Packers very likely would have beaten the Chiefs on Sunday, and would be tied with the Cardinals at 8-1. But because Rodgers is a selfish, lying, immature prick, I guess we'll never know.
Last week: 2
4) Cowboys (6-2): Dak Prescott spent the entirety of the offseason rehabbing a devastating leg injury suffered during the 2020 season that caused him to miss 11 games. Then he missed most of training camp with a shoulder injury. Then he missed the Cowboys' Week 8 game with a calf injury, and he would have missed an extra game if the Cowboys didn't have a bye Week 7.
These morons had him in the game to start a drive with about 6:30 left in the fourth quarter, down 30-0.
Last week: 4
3) Buccaneers (6-2): Though they lost their last game (Week 8 against the Saints), it was a good bye week for the Bucs, who watched as four of the other five teams in the NFC with winning records — the Rams, Cowboys, Packers, and Saints — lost.
Last week: 5
2) Rams (7-2): I think we saw some concerning cracks in the armor on Sunday night against the Titans, as the interior of the Rams' offensive line got abused:
The 1:18 mark... 😧.
Last week: 1
1) Cardinals (8-1): The Niners stink, but the Cardinals' easy win over them was impressive nevertheless, seeing as they were without Kyler Murray and DeAndre Hopkins.
This team is one Rasul Douglas INT away from still being undefeated, and if Murray still isn't able to go next week in Carolina against the crap Panthers, their players now have reason to feel confident that Colt McCoy (22 of 26 vs. SF) can get the job done there.
Last week: 3
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