My last column was a call to action. I challenged any man in a position to influence the fate of a boy to confront the academic crisis among boys, who are falling well behind girls in multiple measures of achievement. I presented evidence that doing poorly at school is strongly associated with major challenges later in life, including addiction, involvement with the criminal justice system, and mental and physical health problems — factors that fuel a crisis in adulthood.
Yes, there is also a crisis among men in America and, as promised in that previous column, I will finish this two-part series on the state of boys and men with a look at the adult side of this equation. A recent, front-page article in The Wall Street Journal outlined a "crisis of purpose" spurred by changing gender roles and reductions in classic male-dominated industries like manufacturing. It is particularly affecting men in their 20s and 30s, but it's not without impact on men beyond this range.
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As chronicled by the Journal, the stories of these men are heartbreaking. They show that traditional views on masculinity have a real and significant impact on men's lives and the lives of their families. If there is an upside to this dilemma, it's that researchers and advocates are homing in on the underlying causes and offering strategies that bring hope.
Organizations like the Equimundo Center for Masculinities & Social Justice, which engages men and boys as allies in its pursuit for gender equality, are encouraged by a growing acceptance among men for gender equality and healthy manhood. And my own lived experience proves that a man can function in female-dominated roles when there's motivation.
The crisis among men
Paralleling their research on boys, the American Institute for Boys and Men and their president, Richard Reeves, capture the current plight of American men. They note that men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women and account for 71% of opioid overdose deaths. Fewer men are working, and those who are working have seen a big decline in their wages. Men are less likely than women to graduate high school or earn a four-year college degree, and there has been a 14% decline in median earnings for men without college degrees since 1979. Black men are particularly challenged, earning approximately 30% less than white men. Only 36% of bachelor's degrees awarded to Black students go to Black men.
In an interview with National Public Radio, Reeves, the author of "Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It," attributed the current state of men to economic, social and cultural shifts that have resulted in a loss of jobs in male-dominated fields like manufacturing, and more women in the workforce. He noted that the role of men as the primary provider has largely diminished as women are the primary breadwinners in 41% of U.S. households.
In response, Reeves said men should look to enter "HEAL" sectors — health, education, administration and literacy. He pointed to jobs in medicine and nursing, as well as education, social work and psychology that need workers demand but attract few men. Reeves acknowledged that some men may feel uncomfortable, because these jobs value cognitive skills over physical strength and confront traditional views of masculinity, but emerging research is challenging traditional male stereotypes.
Views on masculinity are shifting
Research published in the American Journal of Men's Health describes how traditional masculinity norms that orient men to display strength and dominance, and the stereotypes that require men to be stoic, independent, tough and powerful, are now being challenged by a contemporary culture embracing the "new male."
This new thinking on masculinity allows men to remain tough and strong while being able to show sensitivity. Though very much a baby step on the cultural landscape, researchers cite the acceptance of hugging between men as one indicator of this shift, a subject I considered because of a hug's positive physical and psychological impact on a man.
My lived experience
My father was very much engaged in my life and the lives of my four siblings. My earliest memories include Dad cheering me on at sporting events, accompanying me to dental appointments and being socially engaged in many aspects of my life. Though my mother handled traditional duties, Dad, a lawyer by profession, never hesitated to jump in to support the cause, with nothing out of scope as he defined his fatherly duties (he was an avid house cleaner).
This experience surely influenced my views on masculinity, but it was an experience in my 30s that forced me full-fledged into non-traditional roles that produced my passion for men's health and what today would be labeled a more contemporary perspective on masculinity. It also showed how, when necessary, stereotypes can be cast aside to deal with the realities of life.
In my 30s, I became a single dad, with my two sons living with me Mondays through Fridays. They were seven years apart, with one in second grade and the other in seventh. It was my job to pack lunches, do laundry, attend back-to-school nights, schedule doctor visits and attend to their general welfare. There was no choice, no deliberation.
To ensure their well-being, I needed to do what I had to without consideration of whether it was "manly" or not. And so it went. We created our routines, and I developed an appreciation for what would be considered "women's work." After about 10 years, both boys had graduated from high school and went off to college.
Change is coming
The crisis among men and the underlying damage inflicted by traditional male norms fuels my passion to advocate for these new models. I see a seismic shift when current and former NFL players like Lane Johnson, Brian Dawkins and Malcolm Jenkins acknowledge their struggles with depression and their teammates show support for the courage they exhibited.
To cite the position advanced by Equimundo, "men need to show the courage to walk a path of masculinity different from the harmful one we've inherited. Courage, strength, and bravery are the exact ideals to pursue a new uncharted path of positive, healthy, emotionally connected masculinity."
I never felt any less of a man when providing for my sons, even when I was engaged with the PTA moms for the holiday house tour for which I volunteered. In fact, while there were certainly times when things were a little awkward, the experience left me feeling good and quite fulfilled.
The crisis with men in the U.S. is the product of changing social, economic and behavioral dimensions. It's complicated, with no easy answer. However, with a deepening recognition and the application of targeted research, solutions are in sight.
In my experience, performing roles that fall outside the traditional boundaries of masculinity can be empowering and uplifting. Each of us, in our own way and through our individual relationships, can help men find the courage to embrace the new male and reap the benefits that this can bring.
Louis Bezich, senior vice president and chief administrative officer at Cooper University Health Care, is author of "Crack The Code: 10 Proven Secrets that Motivate Healthy Behavior and Inspire Fulfillment in Men Over 50." Read more from Louis on his website.