March 06, 2017
Matt Mullin/PhillyVoice
Matt Duke, foreground, performs "Colangelo's Lie" on WIP while the song's writer, Patrick Resch, looks on.
Late last week, I shot and posted a video of local singer/songwriter Matt Duke performing a Sixers-themed cover of Don MacLean's "American Pie," with the new lyrics written by Flourtown native Patrick Resch.
To say that they knocked it out of the park with this song would be an understatement.
On Monday, I joined both of them in studio with Angelo Cataldi and the rest of the SportsRadio 94 WIP Morning Show crew to talk a little Sixers, but mainly to play some of it live on air.
.@Matt_Duke, @presch34, and @matt_mullin in performing 'Colangelo's Lie' pic.twitter.com/R9qcqxUigH
— WIP Morning Show (@WIPMorningShow) March 6, 2017
You can listen to both of those segments here: Part 1 | Part 2
After we wrapped up, original Process truster and WIP Program Director Spike Eskin took us into an adjoining studio to record the full song.
Spike is also one of the hosts of The Rights to Ricky Sanchez podcast, along with Michael Levin, and despite the fact that I've previously failed to credit them for taking #TTP mainstream, he liked the track so much that there may even a live performance at their Draft Lottery Party at XFINITY Live! on May 16.
And with a theme like "The Process is Dead," Pat's lyrics fit almost too perfectly.
Brand new @RTRSPodcast including all Lottery Party details and get tickets right here https://t.co/CX9Mw1WGAQ pic.twitter.com/QszmrDCtR5
— Spike Eskin (@SpikeEskin) March 4, 2017
Last year, they had 2,500 people in attendance to watch the Sixers land the No. 1 pick. This year, they're expecting even more as they retire Sam Hinkie's jersey (suit jacket?) and officially declare The Process to be dead. You can get tickets, here, but don't waste time because they're free ... and going quickly.
Anyway, special thanks to Spike for allowing us to record a much more professional sounding version of the song.
Enjoy [and a reminder there's a NSFW word or two in here].
And here are the lyrics, in full, in case you want to sing along while you listen...
[INTRO]
A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How those Sixers used to make me smile
And I know if he had the chance
That A.I. could make those people chant
And maybe, they’d be happy, for a while…
But February made me shiver
With every tweet that was delivered
Bad news on my timeline
Jahlil’s still on the skyline
I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about Noel’s demise
Something touched me deep inside
The day The Process died
[CHORUS]
So bye bye, Mr. Tall Lanky guy
Drove my cargo to the Fargo but the Schuylkill was dry
Them good ol’ Hinkies were drinkin’ Shirleys and cryin’
Singin’ this’ll be the day The Process dies
This’ll be the day The Process dies
[VERSE 1]
Did you read the book of flubs?
And do you have trust in Sam above,
If The Process tells you so?
Do you believe in Williams, Mo?
Can pick-swaps save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to lose real slow?
Well I know that you’re protecting him
But I saw Ben dunking in the gym
Joel kicked off his shoes
Man, I miss those Dream Shake Moves
I was a lonely teenage Sixers buck
With a lot of patience while my team did suck
But I knew Bryan gave no f**ks
The day The Process died
[CHORUS]
So bye bye, Mr. Tall Lanky guy
Drove my cargo to the Fargo but the Schuylkill was dry
Them good ol’ Hinkies were drinkin’ Shirleys and cryin’
Singin’ this’ll be the day The Process dies
This’ll be the day The Process dies
[VERSE 2]
Now for 4 years, we’ve been on our own
And picks pile up while losses grow
But that’s how it’s supposed to be
When Colangelo sang for Silver the peen
In a coat he bought from LL Bean
And a voice that (really) pissed off you and me
Oh and while Hinkie was looking down
The Colangelos stole his thorny crown
The Process was adjourned
Hinkie never returned
And when we finally waived JaKarr
Kwame Brown practiced in the park
And we counted pick swaps in the dark
The day The Process died
[CHORUS]
So bye bye, Mr. Tall Lanky guy
Drove my cargo to the Fargo but the Schuylkill was dry
Them good ol’ Hinkies were drinkin’ Shirleys and cryin’
Singin’ this’ll be the day The Process dies
This’ll be the day The Process dies
[VERSE 3]
Layoffs, payoffs, now we’re talkin’ playoffs
The league thought Hinkie was their Bernie Madoff
They hoped the Sixers stock was gonna crash
But Ersan’s shot continued to splash
Dario Saric threw a no-look pass
With the Aussie on the sideline in a cast
Now the trade deadline was sweet perfume
Could management unload a center from Duke?
We all got up to dance
Oh, but we never had the chance
‘Cause Colangelo tried to play the field
The real GMs, (they) refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day The Process died?
[CHORUS]
So bye bye, Mr. Tall Lanky guy
Drove my cargo to the Fargo but the Schuylkill was dry
Them good ol’ Hinkies were drinkin’ Shirleys and cryin’
Singin’ this’ll be the day The Process dies
This’ll be the day The Process dies
[VERSE 4]
Oh and there we were all in one place
Sixers generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on Ben be nimble, Ben be quick
Ben’s foot is made of candlestick
‘Cause suffering is my only friend
Oh, and as I watch him on the Draft Day stage
My hands will be clenched in fists of rage
No Lakers pick that fell
Could break Colangelo’s spell
And as the pinballs bounce, this isn’t right
This should be Samuel Hinkie’s night
Instead Bryan’s laughing with delight
The day The Process died
[CHORUS]
So bye bye, Mr. Tall Lanky guy
Drove my cargo to the Fargo but the Schuylkill was dry
Them good ol’ Hinkies were drinkin’ Shirleys and cryin’
Singin’ this’ll be the day The Process dies
This’ll be the day The Process dies
[OUTRO]
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked to turn on Action News
She just cried, ’They cut TJ’
I went down to the liquor store
Where I’d trusted The Process years before
But Tony Wroten said The Process wouldn’t play
And on Broad Street, the children screamed
Season ticket holders cried and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The backboards all were broken
And the two men I despise the most
The father and son called Colangelo
They caught the last train back to Toronto
The day The Process died.
[CHORUS]
So bye bye, Mr. Tall Lanky guy
Drove my cargo to the Fargo but the Schuylkill was dry
Them good ol’ Hinkies were drinkin’ Shirleys and cryin’
Singin’ this’ll be the day The Process dies
This’ll be the day The Process dies
So bye bye, Mr. Tall Lanky guy
Drove my cargo to the Fargo but the Schuylkill was dry
Them good ol’ Hinkies were drinkin’ Shirleys and cryin’
Singin’ this’ll be the day The Process dies
This’ll be the day The Process dies
