Like many of us around the world, Kevin Hart is bunkered at home during the coronavirus pandemic, unable to continue production on films and other projects in the pipeline.
To cure his boredom, Hart has been filming a series called "Confessions from the Hart" on his Instagram page, including an admission that the 40-year-old actor's hair and beard are significantly grayed. Since he's out of work, he can't be bothered to dye it.
On Wednesday, Hart continued with a story about the one and only time he played youth football for the 85-pound Nicetown Steelers in North Philadelphia in the late 1980s.
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Hart's older brother, Rob, was respected as a young athlete at the time and had a reputation that many of Kevin's peers thought he would follow. Hart didn't even weigh 85 pounds at the time, but his speed and apparent skill got him installed as a quarterback and kick returner.
As Hart explains in the video, it didn't go well for him.
Hart's first game as a Steeler came against the Logan Cowboys. Nicetown was set to receive the opening kickoff. And here's the best part in Hart's words:
I start running, I see the Logan Cowboys running at me. Everybody that had blue and white on (the Steelers) just kept hitting the ground...
It's a clear line to me. Man, when I tell you I said, 'Not today,' I turned around and started running the other way.
My brother said, 'Kev! The wrong way!'
I said, 'No, it's not.' I took that football, threw that football up in the air. Up in the air! I could hear people on the sideline.
'What the f*** are you doing?'
I can hear my dad go, 'b****.' He called me a b****.
The team gets the ball, the Cowboys run it back. They get a touchdown. Man, I went back to the sidelines. The coach was like, 'What was that?'
I said, 'I don't know, but I don't want to play this sport no more.'
My first and last time touching a football on a football field.
Despite the hideous beginning and end to Hart's football career, the comedian went on to play basketball for George Washington High School. Despite Hart's MVP performances in the NBA's Celebrity All-Star Game, he wasn't exactly a baller in high school. In fact, when he sat down with ESPN to review his high school tape, Hart counted about eight atrocious turnovers in a single game.
The good news for Hart is that he's having another baby, as he and wife Eniko announced a pregnancy this week. It will be Hart's fourth child and the couple's second. Maybe, just maybe, one of them will have athletic gifts. If they don't, at least they'll know how to laugh about it.