Coined by psychologist David Elkind in 1981, "hurried child syndrome" refers to parents' tendencies to burden children with overcrowded schedules and too-high expectations – an effort to encourage them to grow up quicker. Four decades later, the concept still resonates. It's being shared by parents on TikTok, and was the topic of a study published in January that found that most "hurried children" have anxiety, depression and feel unworthy when they fail to fulfill their parents' expectations.
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"Children are pushed to grow up too soon, taking on the worries, responsibilities and stresses of adult life," Sanam Hafeez, a New York City-based neuropsychologist, told Parents in August. "This is happening in all areas of their lives, including school, extracurricular activities and sports, and even social lives."
So, how do you know if your kid is a "hurried child," and what are some ways to prevent the syndrome?
How to identify 'hurried child syndrome'
Examples of "hurried child syndrome" include tutoring children beyond age-appropriate levels, instilling a hyper-focus on winning or competition and expecting constant discipline, Jersey Shore University Medical Center psychiatrist Thomas Priolo told Parents.
"Hurried child syndrome" can start early in life, when parents sign toddlers up for a plethora of classes and sports in an effort to give them a head start. But even if those parents have the best of intentions, all those obligations can lead to burnout or stress for their little ones.
Kids who are hurried have little time for play, relaxation and natural growth. "Hurried child syndrome" not only is a leading cause of anxiety in kids, but it also can lead to lack of sleep, limited exercise and unhealthy eating habits, which can cause various health problems, Forbes reported. Kids also may show stalled emotional development, obsession with achievement, an inability to meaningfully relax and defiance toward parents, according to Psychology Today.
Although the term dates to the 1980s, the phenomenon existed long before that. Throughout history, especially in war times, children have been forced to take on adult responsibilities and grow up quickly. But the modern form of "hurried child syndrome," in the age of comparing lives on social media, comes with its own challenges.
"The modern version of the syndrome is perhaps more structured and pressurized due to competitive educational systems and demands for societal success," Hafeez told Parents.
How to prevent 'hurried child syndrome'
One way to avoid 'hurried child syndrome' is by encouraging free play, which helps children adapt to chronic stress and supports their cognitive, social, emotional and psychomotor development, Forbes reported. Parents can offer unstructured playtime rather than packing kids' schedules with structured activities. Limiting technology use is another way to encourage play and exploration.
Parents also are advised to help their kids set achievable goals, celebrate small achievements, encourage self-reflection, give children the chance to pursue their interests and focus on their kids' efforts rather than outcomes. Parents also can model a healthy work-life balance and incorporate more family bonding time.
"What I would ask parents is, are you happy with the way your family is operating? ... Rather than saying, are you hurrying your kids — are you feeling like every day we're going from this to this to this to this to this, and I don't have any time to prioritize family time or the things we want to be doing together? And that's maybe the clue that you could give up on some of those extracurriculars," economist and parenting expert Emily Oster told CBS Mornings Plus on Monday. "And I think we need to give parents permission to say it's okay if your kid doesn't play 17 different travel soccer sports."
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