June 08, 2017
It's fair to assume that a large portion of Americans — whether in a bar, at work or at home — watched the testimony of former FBI Director James Comey Thursday morning.
Like any widely viewed event, like the Super Bowl or the birthing of a giraffe, the tweets were many, and they were good.
Here are the funniest:
"What the president whispered in my ear was, 'I really look forward to working with you.'" - Comey on awkward hug meeting at WH
— Savannah Guthrie (@SavannahGuthrie) June 8, 2017
"I really look forward to working with you" pic.twitter.com/gQWUX0HXYQ
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) June 8, 2017
Now we only have one mystery whisper left. #lostintranslation pic.twitter.com/ovn7qd4beP
— Pat Ward (@WardDPatrick) June 8, 2017
"Hey Lil' Comey let me whisper in ya ear" pic.twitter.com/ryMG6YBtR7
— LizzLocker (@Lizzs_Lockeroom) June 8, 2017
The worst remix of the Whisper Song https://t.co/Gpk2Xs6exO
— Henny Hval (@kaylajea) June 8, 2017
I don't want anyone whispering in my ear
— Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) June 8, 2017
"You're big. You're strong." #Comey pic.twitter.com/aJeEXolLsM
— Clare Jensen (@clarejens) June 8, 2017
Feinstein openly trying to slide into the DMs there with "you're big and you're strong" #ComeyDay
— kylie sparks (@kyliesparks) June 8, 2017
Dianne Feinstein on Jim Comey eating his Wheaties: "You're big. You're strong" #ComeyDay
— Scrooge Jones (@fitzador) June 8, 2017
"You're big, you're strong." Oh my Diane
— Moira Donegan (@MegaMoira) June 8, 2017
Comey: "I saw [Trump's] tweet about tapes. Lordy, I hope there are tapes" #ComeyHearing
— Roll Call (@rollcall) June 8, 2017
I need 'Lordy, I hope there are tapes' on a t-shirt
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) June 8, 2017
Lordy
— John Hodgman (@hodgman) June 8, 2017
Sen. James Risch (R-Idaho) with collar askew while questioning former FBI director James Comey today. pic.twitter.com/sErk67xRv9
— Paul Lukas (@UniWatch) June 8, 2017
Finally, we’re going to get some answers! pic.twitter.com/waSIq6f1SS
— Dan McQuade (@dhm) June 8, 2017
wow Comey just said the Sixers are going to the finals next year
— Dennis (@GipperGrove) June 8, 2017
Can Comey dunk?
— Barry Petchesky (@barry) June 8, 2017
James Comey is 6-foot-8 and putting up a solid performance on the big stage. If I was the Cavs, I'd play him over Deron Williams in Game 4.
— SportsPickle (@sportspickle) June 8, 2017
OMG COMEY SAID "PROBLEMATIC" CHECK IF HE HAS A TUMBLR
— Big Gay (@keisertroll) June 8, 2017
So if he was a "Stronger guy" he might have actually followed procedure & the law? You were the director of the FBI, who are you kidding?😂
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) June 8, 2017
I'm convinced Trump is on the phone with Donald Jr. telling him what to tweet
— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) June 8, 2017
Comey: “I had to call my wife and break a date with her…I love my wife. I wish I had been there that night.”
— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) June 8, 2017
Someone's getting laid tonight. https://t.co/u4HejdYhR5
— Brian P. Hickey (@BrianPHickey) June 8, 2017
This is what Comey gets for having wine alone with someone other than his wife amiright Mikey P!? @VP #trumpdinner #comey
— mae whitman (@maebirdwing) June 8, 2017
"can you come over for dinner tonight?" - so @realDonaldTrump is just upset comey left him for his wife
— we're queer (@doodyknowsaC) June 8, 2017
BREAKING: Comey loves his wife
— Julia Reinstein (@juliareinstein) June 8, 2017
Comey's Greatest Hits
— Carl Quintanilla (@carlquintanilla) June 8, 2017
"No Fuzz"
"Queasy Feelin"
"Lordy, I Hope There R Tapes"
"Feedin the Seagulls"
"Mildly Nauseous"
"Nature o the Person"
HARRIS: “You’re a private citizen now - “
— Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) June 8, 2017
COMEY: “I’m between opportunities now.”
HARRIS: “I’m sure you’ll have future opportunities.”
"I'm between opportunities right now"
— Darian Somers (@StuffSomersSays) June 8, 2017
Is James Comey the next Oklahoma head football coach? Story at 6.
#Comey jokes "I'm between opportunities now." - echoing every recently laid off, underemployed, fired person's rosy take. #ComeyDay
— HeatherJChin (@HeatherJChin) June 8, 2017
"I'm between opportunities now"
— Christine Emba (@ChristineEmba) June 8, 2017
lol can someone offer Comey an internship please? Has he considered driving for Uber? maybe TaskRabbit?
comey: “i’m between opportunities now.” a million freelance writers nod in agreement.
— Erik Malinowski (@erikmal) June 8, 2017
Bruce Dern...in the drowsiest and least compelling performance of his career...is...McCAIN.
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) June 8, 2017
McCain looks heavily sedated.
— Jonathan Chait (@jonathanchait) June 8, 2017
John McCain is sleepy. Something something Clinton. Whole lot of questions about what went on. Comey: I'm a little confused.
— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) June 8, 2017
Somebody needs to get McCain a Snickers bar
— WiffleBall1 (@WiffleBall1) June 8, 2017
