December 09, 2023
Dallas Week is upon us for the second, though perhaps not final, time this season. The Eagles beat the Cowboys in South Philadelphia back in November, prevailing 28-23 as three-point favorites. The tide now turns to Texas, as the Eagles look to recover from their worst non-Super Bowl loss in recent memory. The 9-3 Cowboys have won four-straight games and are playing on 10 days' rest.
In NBA terms, this San Francisco-Dallas stretch feels like a "schedule loss," but no one has time for that in a football-crazed world with just 17 games on a team's slate. The Eagles' beef with the 49ers (or is the other way around?) continues to heighten, but the grandaddy of all Philly rivalries is here with a Cowboys matchup on the docket.
I'm not here to proclaim, in the most clichéd manner possible, "I don't care if they win two games just as long as the two wins are against Dallas." A 2-15 season? Every year? That would make you happy? Go grab a bottle of Schmidt's, grandpop.
Still. When you're a fan, I thought rooting your guts out against a team you hate even more entertaining than cheering for your own given team. In my pre-journalism days, I found an Eagles game to be a manifestation of a three-hour panic attack. Hate-watching the Cowboys against a random NFC West team always felt more lively to me.
If you're not going to be wild, out-of-control and hate things just for the sake of hating them while reveling in it, why even drag yourself into the loser's game that is being a sports fan? For example, say you were born in 1969. You're 54 years old. You've seen one Eagles championship in your time on this planet. If Philly only cares about winning, and I truly believe it does, that means you've been happy 1.9 percent of the time in your life watching football. Don't be rational. Let your id grab control of the wheel and start frothing at the mouth at the sight of a star instead.
It would do wonders, certainly, for the mental well-being of Philadelphians if the Eagles pulled this thing off against Dallas as 3.5-point underdogs. The Birds' last road win over the Cowboys came during that magical 2017 campaign. The Eagles trailed 9-7 at and proceeded to score 30 unanswered points in the final two quarters for a nationally televised thrashing.
It won't be easy though.
In games where both the Eagles and Cowboys were trying over the last three seasons, a necessary caveat given how that final week NFL scheduling usually plays out, Dak Prescott is 2-1 against the Eagles with a 9-to-1 touchdown-to-interception ratio while averaging nearly 320 passing yards per game. Ragging on Dallas' starting quarterback is ingrained in Philadelphia tradition as much as a pregame drink in Jetro, but the guy has been carving up the Birds' secondary for a while. He's got the goods to beat the Birds.
Who will jump into Eagles-Cowboys lore on Sunday night? Can Reed Blankenship have his Brandon Boykin moment? Can newcomer Shaq Leonard go full James Willis mode? Can D'Andre Swift have his first 100-yard rushing performance in months and channel the sacred vibes of Wilbert Montgomery? How about rookie Nolan Smith making his name with a strip sack on Prescott? Someone needs to grab that mantle if the Birds want to throw one up in the win column.
The Eagles, at worst, will split the season series with Dallas provided a rubber match doesn't happen in the postseason. Your grandfather can rest easy knowing that. The Eagles could very well survive a loss in Dallas, run the table in four games against the Seahawks, Giants, Cardinals and Giants again, still nabbing the No. 1 seed in the NFC. It would go a long way in the holiday season for the Delaware Valley, however, if they just smacked the crap out of them in prime time and gave everyone the week off from a nauseating national media cycle.
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