Regina Garcia Dyhouse, known to the DJ world as Gun$ Garcia, has carved out quite the lane for herself in club-land since moving from Washington, D.C. to Philly to attend Moore College of Art & Design.
As comfortable in the DJ booth as in front of the camera, Dyhouse’s vibrant, party-starting DJ sets ooze with personality and have earned her features in VICE’s “Guide To Clubbing” series, as well as New York Fashion Week gigs for acclaimed label Chromat alongside her patriarch-smashing DJ crew, Factory Girls.
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Between throwing poppin’ parties up and down the east coast, teaching classes at Old City’s Scratch DJ Academy, training for a half marathon, and being a general woman-about-town, it’s hard to imagine there being any time left for Dyhouse to add a boyfriend into the mix.
We sat down with the Philly-based selector to talk about love and why dating DJs is a horrible idea. Full disclosure: Dyhouse and the author of this piece are both DJs. Don’t date us?
Gun$ Garcia:
First, let me say that I am not a dating expert -- in fact I'm pretty terrible at dating. I’m a textbook serial monogamist who avoids all self-discovery while single for only a few months in between partners.
I kissed my first DJ sometime in the summer of 2002. He was really a waiter that DJed a few times a year, but a DJ nonetheless. Since then, I've primarily dated DJs, not exclusively, but pretty close.
It's taken me thousands of dollars in therapy and a lot of self-evaluation to admit to what I refer to as my “DJ habit.” I've dated DJs, I am a DJ, most of my friends are DJs and significant others of DJs. I know what comes with dating a DJ.
Based on my years of experience and what I've witnessed, these are my…5 reasons you shouldn’t date a DJ.
1. They will never take you on a real date...ever.
DJs don't do dates. They do hang outs. Texting their friend to get you on the list at a club is their equivalent to effort. On your first "date" your DJ crush will woo you with drugs, alcohol, and an after-party, but really, you'll be serving as arm candy while they talk to their friends about memes while siphoning drinks from a friend's bottle. The thing about being a DJ is it's not a real job, so generally they don't have any real money. All anniversaries, birthdays or holidays will be overshadowed by a mixtape or DJ gig they have.
2. They will never love you more than they love themselves or their followers.
All DJs, including myself, are narcissistic and sociopathic egomaniacs making up for their high school awkwardness. This insecurity manifests itself into an insatiable appetite for being liked, fulfilled by “likes” on social media. Their Instagram, Facebook, or whatever social media outlet gives them the most response will be your biggest competition for attention.
They also firmly believe that who they know is a real part of who they are. They will spend countless hours name-dropping and telling you stories about being backstage with Diplo, Steve Aoki or Skrillex (especially if you haven't slept with them, yet), knowing full-well they will never be a fraction as successful as their "close DJ friends."
3. "Nah, we’re not dating."
Once you've finally trapped your DJ into being your full-time boyfriend or girlfriend, they’ll tell you they love you behind closed doors, but never actually tell people you're together. I can't tell you how many girls I've met who claim they've been dating their DJ boyfriends for years, and yet the DJ will tell me that they're "just hangin’ out."
They’ll tell you it's because of their image, but it's not. George Clooney finally getting married never made him less attractive or got him less acting gigs, but your DJ boo will convince you that that's how the "industry" works. They’ll be more inclined to post photos with people they think are famous or will elevate their social status than ever posting a photo of the two of you.
4. DJing isn't a job. It's a way of life.
DJing isn't just a 4-hour gig every Friday and Saturday night. There are hours of e-mails, meetings, venue tours, party planning, and more. In the DJ world, all hours are business hours. There are plenty of nights I've stayed up all night to finish a flier or a mix I'd been working on. If you’re used to a partner that’s home by 6 p.m. and ready to spend a quiet night at home rubbing your feet and feeding you tea, you’ve got the wrong person. Be ready for late-night gigs, not getting home till 5 a.m. because they had to network the after-party, and being too tired for brunch the next morning.
5. THEY. WILL. CHEAT.
No, it's not a stereotype, it's an actual fact. I've been cheated on, and I've been the one they’ve cheated with (unknowingly). No, you did not find the good one – they’re probably cheating on you right now as you read this article. Do you know where your DJ is?!
So, if "DJ Popular" slides in your DMs to hang out, do the right thing…ask for guest list +1 and bring your own date.
Catch Gun$ Garcia in a DJ booth near you and try to warm up her cold, jaded heart! She can be found every Monday night – "Man Crush Monday" at Saint Lazarus Bar in Northern Liberties, Saturday, Nov. 4 – DNCE at Liaison Room, Thursday, Nov. 9 – Truewave at Creep Records and Thursday, Nov. 16 – Salvaje at the Barbary.