Throughout the season, we'll be posting press box food spread rankings for each of the Philadelphia Eagles' road games. This is probably of no interest to you if you're a sane human being, and, well, I don't care. I'm doing this anyway.
If you're fake-appalled by a sportswriter playfully complaining about free food, shut up, dork. Please note that we'll have the most recent press box reviews at the top.
Eagles at Bengals, Week 9
The last time the Eagles played in Cincinnati was in 2016. I started writing these press box food spread reviews in 2018, so this is a rare team that I have never reviewed. Bengals ownership has the reputation for being extremely cheap, so my expectations coming in were low.
To my surprise, the Bengals came out of the gate hot, serving breakfast and lunch at like 10 a.m.
They had salads:
- Green salad with assorted dressings
- Creamy pasta salad
- Fruit salad
And breakfast (they called it brunch):
- Spinach and cheddar fritattas
- Turkey sausage
- Bacon
- Biscuits and gravy
- Cinnamon rolls
It's funny to me that the Bengals listed the cinnamon rolls with it's "breakfast" offerings, and not with the desserts. That got me wondering which NFL cities had the highest obesity rates, and yep, Cincinnati was near the top. To my surprise, Philly wasn't in the top half of the league for obesity 💪. From fattest to fittest:
- New Orleans
- Dallas
- Detroit
- Nashville
- Cincinnati
- Indianapolis
- Cleveland
- Kansas City
- Houston
- Charlotte
- Phoenix
- Las Vegas
- Milwaukee (subbing in for Green Bay)
- Atlanta
- Baltimore
- Philadelphia
- Los Angeles
- Tampa
- Pittsburgh
- Jacksonville
- Washington, D.C.
- Miami
- Chicago
- New York
- San Francisco
- Minneapolis
- Denver
- Boston (representing the Patriots)
- Seattle
Anyway, continuing on, they also had a lot of pasta:
- Tortellini with spinach, garlic, roasted tomatoes, and olive oil
- Gemelli pasta with basil, pomodoro
- Bruschetta chicken
- Beef meatballs with red sauce and pesto
- Garlic bread sticks (not pictured below)
- Cannoli
- Assorted cookies
- Brookies
- Smartfood (bagged popcorn)
Again, they rolled all of the above out at the same time early in the morning. This overload of food led to some oddball plates of breakfast and lunch foods, like mine. I came in hungry, and ate a hell of a lot of food, pregame.
For those of you scoring at home, that's two different kinds of pasta, a meatball, chicken, bacon, a sugar cookie, a cannoli, a cinnamon bun, and a brookie. The general verdict is that it was all just basically OK-ish. The MVP was the meatball, so I made a specialty meatball biscuit with cheese shavings sandwich.
My meatball biscuit creation was actually really good. Serve those 👆, Bengals.
I ate almost all of it except for like half of the cinnamon bun, which was good, but I simply had no room left in my body for it. I also gave my brookie to NJ.com's Bob Brookover (AKA "Brookie"), because they ran out and he wanted to bring one home as a memento. I'm very kind.
At halftime, they had Skyline Chili and some very sus hotdogs.
Pass.
They didn't have anything post-game, which was fine by me.
Correction: The Bengals served pizza post-game in some sort of super secret pizza room.
Grade: Better than expected, at least in terms of volume and variety, but not necessarily quality. C-.
Eagles at Giants, Week 7
The Giants' review will be brief, because we review them every year and I more or less know what to expect. Pre-game they served breakfast, as well as some sandwiches:
• Omelet station
• Scrambled eggs
• Bacon
• Belgian waffles
• Pre-made and wrapped "Taylor Ham," egg, and cheese sandwiches
• Fruit
• Turkey and Swiss with green leaf lettuce on ciabatta
• Black Forest Ham and Swiss with green leaf lettuce on a croisssant
• Vegetarian wraps
• Italian chicken cutlet
I respect the Giants serving pork roll and cheese and calling it "Taylor Ham" before an Eagles game.
Here's the omelet station:
And the sandwiches:
And here was my pre-game plate:
If you'll notice I have a bagel on my plate. Have you ever been to a diner and they served rock hard, cold butter? Of course you have. Well, so did the Giants. I got a little anxiety re-watching this video of myself trying to spread that butter.
At halftime, they served lunch:
• Chicken Fritters
• Mozzarella sticks with marinara
• Waffles fires
• Vegetable crudité and dip platter
• Rice pudding
Just call them chicken fingers, guys.
They also had an ice cream bin with Strawberry Shortcake bars, Nestle Toll House chocolate chip cookie sandwiches, etc., and a candy station. I didn't get a pic of the candy station, somehow. Bad job by me. Here was my halftime plate:
Post-game they didn't have any additional food, but they left the coffee on for the drive home, which is really all I ask.
Grade: B-.
Eagles at Buccaneers, Week 4
I was originally going to head down to Florida on Friday, and soak up some sun in Clearwater Beach, but Hurricane Helene had other plans, so I instead stayed at an airport hotel. If you've never been to an Eagles-Bucs game, it's about as convenient a trip as you can make, at least among the cities that require a flight. Raymond James Stadium is right by the airport (directly east of it, as shown below), and there are a buttload of hotels and restaurants in that area.
I made the mistake of walking to the stadium from my hotel. Generally, getting in a little exercise pregame is a good thing, but when you have a 20-pound computer bag pressed flush up against your back and you're walking two miles in a Florida heat and humidity, you're going to be left with a lot of back sweat and regret.
Upon arriving at the stadium, the Bucs had a breakfast spread ready to go. They had chicken sausage links, biscuits, and farm egg frittatas. The chicken sausage links didn't look very appealing, so I skipped those.
"It wasn't bad," Jeff McLane of The Philadelphia Inquirer said. "It was fine."
Here were the frittatas:
Then, at like 11:30 a.m.-ish, they got rid of the breakfast spread and served an entirely new lunch spread. Impressive.
They always have Cubans, and this year was no different.
I've had them many times, and they're always good, but I skipped them this time around. Eliot Shorr-Parks of WIP is a big fan. He had three main points on the Bucs' Cubans, which he texted to me:
- "They are restaurant quality."
- "They are just as good as the mac and cheese in Dallas."
- "I look forward to eating them days in advance (sad life)."
I agree with points 1 and 3, but point No. 2 is a bad "surface of the sun" hot take.
Instead, I dove into the "chicken annatto." What's annatto? Per Wikipedia:
Annatto is an orange-red condiment and food coloring derived from the seeds of the achiote tree (Bixa orellana), native to tropical parts of the Americas. It is often used to impart a yellow to red-orange color to foods, but sometimes also for its flavor and aroma. Its scent is described as "slightly peppery with a hint of nutmeg" and flavor as "slightly nutty, sweet and peppery".
Oh, OK cool. I had some. Here's what that looked like.
Very good.
They also had salads and a carving station, with ribs:
Much like Chris Rock in "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka," I asked for one rib.
I did not ask them to pour soda in my hand. Here was my one rib:
The Bucs also had a lot of side treats. They had pretzels nuggets:
Those weren't very good, but in past years they served gigantic pretzels that also weren't good, but if you grabbed one you either had to choke it down or feel bad about throwing most of it away. At least in this case you weren't required to make a big commitment. But certainly, the Bucs need to step up their pretzel game, especially when Philly reporters come to town.
They also had cookies and brownies:
They were fine.
Oh, and hey, what's this? A soft serve ice cream machine?!? Oh hell yes. That's new, and welcomed. Good job, Bucs.
Ooh, and a bunch of fixins, too? Boom.
They only had one flavor (vanilla), so they have to step that up a bit, but still, I thoroughly enjoyed my vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce, mini M&M's, and Oreo crumblies, with a side of Skittles.
At halftime, they had hot dogs. I had one, and it was actually pretty good. And as always, they had their signature Bananas Foster, which I skipped because I had already had the above soft serve. But here's a Bananas Foster pic from a previous game:
Grade: Traditionally, the Bucs have always had a solid spread. I gave them a B both in 2023 and 2021, and a B- in 2018.
In 2020, The Athletic blatantly ripped off my food spread review bit, and somehow ranked the Bucs' spread the best in the NFL, which is laughable. Nobody can touch the Cowboys' spread with a ten foot pole.
Anyway, the Bucs stepped their game up this year, and I think they deserve an A-.
Eagles at Saints, Week 3
When I woke up on the morning of the game, I did a little a 5K and for some dumb reason I chose Bourbon Street as the first leg of my route, after a Saturday night. It was, uhhhh...kinda dirty.
Bourbon Street smelled like the basement of a frat house, and I got to witness the town's method for cleaning up after a party. The shop owners sweep the trash off the sidewalk into the street, and hose off the sidewalk. The trash is then sucked up off the street by a street sweeping vehicle, but it was not evident to me that any further efforts are made to clean the street beyond, I dunno, hoping that it rains at some point? But until then, a layer of grime just kind of lingers. My sweet new Pegs took a beating. 😡
I should note that there are other much prettier areas of the city, including the waterfront.
Later, on the way to the stadium, the press box entrance is notoriously difficult to find, tucked away on the second level of a parking garage, with no signage whatsoever. Then once you're inside the bowels of the stadium, good luck finding the only elevator that goes to the press box among the 15 others that go elsewhere.
Once you find your seats, you need a telescope to see the game:
Oh, and they blast noise for hours before the game. This video doesn't really do the noise justice, but it is loud.
In summary, New Orleans is very fun, and the location of the stadium is right by the fun areas of the city, but it is also an outdated dump.
Anyway, the Saints had the following, pre-game:
• Fresh fruit
• Yogurt dipping sauce
• Carved pecan smoked beef brisket with chipotle orange BBQ sauce
• Salmon La Louisianne: Roasted salmon topped with blackened shrimp and creole beurre blanc
• Wild rice pilaf
• Roasted jumbo asparagus, red pepper, and vidalia onions
• Dinner rolls with butter
• Assorted cheesecakes
They also had a small candy dispenser with Skittles (👍), M&Ms, and Peanut M&Ms.
And finally, they have Tostitos with a nacho cheese dispenser.
You couldn't pay me to eat that nacho cheese when I have to work a game for the next 9 hours.
I should note that they made the spread available at like 9:00 a.m. CST, which is pretty early for brisket and salmon. I had the brisket, and some rice.
The brisket was OK. The BBQ sauce was good.
At halftime, they had hotdogs that were not uniform in color, which to me was an immediate red flag. They also had a vat of chili that some beats mistook for baked beans. Needless to say, that didn't look appetizing either. Eliot Shorr-Parks of WIP tried a hotdog. "It was fine," said ESP. "Very average. A little rubbery." I don't know how "rubbery" = "fine," but whatever.
A Saints media guy overheard our conversation, and said, "Yeah, don't eat the hotdogs." He requested anonymity.
They also had some frozen ice cream bar options, which I appreciated. I opted for a Drumstick. I also had a chocolate chip cookie that was dusted with powdered sugar.
In theory, I like the idea of dusting almost anything sweet with a little powdered sugar, but the cookie kinda sucked. There was no putting lipstick on that pig.
Postgame they didn't have anything, which is fine, whatever, but they also took away the coffee, which is a big no-no.
Grade: I think there's an assumption that if it's a good food city, then the press box food will be really good as well. Not so, at least in New Orleans. C-.
Eagles at Patriots, Preseason Week 2
The Patriots hosted the Eagles for joint practices on Tuesday, and then a preseason game on Thursday. They fed the media in the press box both days.
On Tuesday, they served Korean BBQ chicken, Mongolian beef, vegetable stir fry, and vegetable fried rice. For dessert, they had coconut macaroons, as well as pineapple and orange cheesecake. Impressive!
The chicken was actually really freaking good, as was the orange cheesecake, which I've never had. The beef was just OK.
The Eagles used to feed us after most practices. It was typically Papa John's or Little Caesars (whichever crappy pizza chain was an NFL sponsor at the time), and that was really a no-win situation. You could either eat the bad pizza and feel like garbage the rest of the day, or be forced to exercise will power, when hungry.
So I'm actually glad that's gone. We do still have the option of partaking in Rita's Water Ice after practice, which is nice on blazing hot days. Anyway, the point here... good on the Pats for going above and beyond.
At the game, the Pats had all the same food they had after the joint practice, plus some additions:
- Honey teriyaki salmon filets
- Mac and cheese
- Cold noodle salad
- New England clam chowder
- Mixed salad
- Apple cobbler with ice cream
- Candy station
They also had cold wraps at halftime. Nothing after the game. I like having Ross Tucker around as the Eagles' preseason color analyst, because he unabashedly shoots video of each of the spreads, while I'm a little more undercover in my approach.
There's a reason Ross is the second-best food spread analyst in the big leagues.
The Pats had a solid spread, and I'll bump them up a bit because (a) they fed us after practice, and (b) expectations are a little lower during the preseason. B+.
Press box food spread grades, to date
| Team | Grade |
| Buccaneers | A- |
| Patriots | B+ |
| Giants | B- |
| Bengals | C- |
| Saints | C- |
Two notes:
• I did not travel to Brazil for the Eagles' game against the Packers. My apologies, I have failed you all.
• I did not review the Ravens' spread during the preseason because the Eagles play there during the regular season. I'll review after that game.
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