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September 11, 2017

The ultimate 'Bachelor in Paradise' finale drinking game

Television Drinking
Bachelor in Paradise Bachelor in Paradise/ABC

A poster for 'Bachelor in Paradise.'

It's the day of the "Bachelor in Paradise" finale and reunion, and so much like we did for "The Bachelorette," we here at PhillyVoice are going to help you drink your way through some irresistibly trashy television.

Usually, I employ the help of fellow staffers Marielle Mondon and Sinead Cummings for a venture like this. But it turns out the former isn't a fan of my favorite male character, Dean, and the latter — a religious follower of "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" — doesn't even watch "Paradise."


RELATED: 'Below Deck' BS: fact vs. fiction


So screw it, I'm doing this one on my own. Let's hit it:

Sip — Chris Harrison calls this season the "most dramatic"

Sip — They pan to any animal

Sip — Anyone cries

Sip — Someone says “trouble in paradise”

Sip — The quirky music plays (you’ll know it when you hear it)

Sip — Wells uses a puppet

Sip — Christen's job is listed as "Scallop Fingers"

Sip — Diggy is wearing a pair of glasses that are different from the pair he was wearing earlier in the episode

Sip — Ben Z. mentions his dog

Sip — Anyone mentions Alex's height

Sip — Amanda mentions her kids

Sip — Anyone mentions how they were initially attracted to Raven because of her accent

Sip – Kristina reams out Dean for supposedly being a f***boy

Chug — At any point you think Jack Stone might actually kill someone

Chug — You find yourself wondering how Robby gets his hair to stay like that

Chug – Taylor reminds us all how gosh darn smart she is

Take a shot — A couple breaks up

Finish your drink – There's a proposal (Spoiler: There's at least one!)

Donate any amount of money to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) — The show seriously mishandles how to address allegations of sexual assault for entertainment purposes

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