August 04, 2016
Donald Trump believes an aerial view of Harrisburg reveals "a war zone where you (once had) these massive plants" a couple hundred miles south of upstate New York, another "disaster area," according to the Republican presidential nominee.
These comments, made Tuesday after several campaign stops in Pennsylvania, did not sit well with the state's political leaders.
Governor Wolf dismissed Trump's talk as more of the same hyperbole.
"We need real plans and programs to support our local businesses and rebuild our communities," Wolf said. "Donald Trump has no plans to improve communities across Pennsylvania, and would rather tear them down and pull people apart."
Sen. Bob Casey echoed Wolf's sentiments, endorsing Hillary Clinton's concrete plans over Trump's generalizations.
"Unlike Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton has an actual plan to create more jobs in our communities, including in Harrisburg and communities across Pennsylvania," Casey said. "Instead of Trump insulting our communities, he should develop actual plans to invest in our communities."
Then there's the Harrisburg-based marketing agency that flexed its talents to minimize Trump's portrayal of the state capital. On Thursday, Pavone launched a satirical GoFundMe page to raise money for the ravaged wasteland its staff calls home.
[I]t’s true—the scars of hardcore military conflict are everywhere. For example, Pavone employees have to drive at least 10 minutes for good Thai food. There have only been two new craft breweries to open in Harrisburg this summer. And Harrisburg still lacks an Urban Outfitters.
The struggle is real. How can we help our clients under these conditions?
To "Make Harrisburg Great Again," Pavone is calling for donations to purchase the following vitally necessary office provisions:
• Espresso and whole-bean organic coffee
• Oversized Post-Its
• AA Batteries for Xbox controllers (prefer Duracell)
• Mason Jars
• Replacement for our lost fooseball
• Dog Treats
• PBR kegs (chilled to 41 degrees Fahrenheit if possible)
• American Spirit Cigarettes
• Handmade soap
• Earbuds (Beats By Dre, please)
• Vaping supplies
• Cards Against Humanity (any supplemental packs)
• Incense
• Artisan Pickles
• Beard wax
• Moleskin notebooks (unruled)
• Charcuterie platters
• iPhone charger cables
• Designer candles
With a modest $15,000 goal, Pavone has already raised an impressive $77 as of Thursday night. It's unknown how many of these donors are employees of Pavone. If nothing else, this is an ingenious way to stock up an office with perks and goodies.
Do you want to help this once great city rebound from the affliction of Trump's eyesight? Donate here.
